Recommended Screenwriters
Why Most Query Letters Fail, Part 1
- June 13, 2011
- Posted by: HalCroasmun
- Category: Articles
Situation: You've written an amazing script. The story is riveting. The characters are engaging. The dialogue is unique, emotional, and delivers multiple levels of depth.
Great job!
Now, what does it take to get agents and producers to read it?
Probably the most common complaint of advanced writers is that they can't get anyone in Hollywood to read their scripts. They try everything and still get the same response — "No unsolicited materials." But there is a solution…
The answer: A great pitch.
And there is the problem. Writing a great story is an entirely different process than writing a great pitch.
But don't worry, there's GOOD NEWS. The good news is that you can switch gears and write a great query letter…but it takes a specific kind of thinking.
Let's see if we can solve this by looking at common problems and their solutions.
PROBLEM 1: Writing a book report.
This is the number one problem I see in query letters. The writer thought they were supposed to "tell their story." After all, that only makes sense, right?
You would think that a chronological synopsis of your story is what a producer would need to make a decision…
But it's not!
Let me clarify by looking at your need and the producer's need.
- PRODUCER'S NEED: To know that he can sell your story to a Studio, Network, and/or an A-list actor.
- YOUR NEED: To get your script read, optioned, and sold.
In this case, your success is dependent upon fulfilling both your need and the producer's need.
Don't panic. All you really need to do is show the producer that your script can sell…without saying "my script can sell." You need to provide a pitch that is irresistible to a producer.
Your job is "selling your story, not telling it."
The script tells the story. The pitch gets them to read the script. You need to write a great pitch and get your script read.
Make sense, now?
PROBLEM 2: Lack of Clarity.
If you ever work in a production company and read query letters, you'll be surprised how many of them are confusing. In an effort to intrigue or cram in too many details, the writer left the reader shaking their head.
Clarity is important. Very important.
No one in this business makes a "Yes decision" when they are confused. They need to know how to communicate the vision of your story succinctly and powerfully.
- KEY: Get really clear on one thing: What your story is really about.
Don't try to make it exciting yet, just get clarity.
Here's an example:
- Richard discovers a flaw in a drug that is about to make billions for a pharmaceutical giant, but when he reports it, all hell breaks loose and Richard must solve the puzzle or go to prison.
Do you feel like you know the story? Or does this logline confuse you?
Let's take it one part at a time:
- Richard discovers a flaw in a drug that is about to make millions for a pharmaceutical giant, but when he reports it…
This first part is clear. But does it get to the real story? We'll find that out later.
- …all hell breaks loose…
I don't really know what "all hell breaks loose" means. Did they drug him? Are they negotiating? Has he been slandered in the papers? It is such a vague saying that we really have no idea what it means.
- … and Richard must solve the puzzle or go to prison.
This part is very confusing. What puzzle? I thought he already solved the puzzle of the flawed drug. And how does this all lead to someone who go to prison? Did he make the drug? Or has he violated the law by reporting it?
See how these last two parts confuse?
Let's try it again. Most importantly, I'm going to look at this story and ask "What's this movie really about?" I know the pharmaceutical company is part of it, but that is just background.
Keep asking what the story is really about until you get a clear answer. Try this one…
- When Richard's wife is murdered, he is convicted and sentenced to life in prison…but he escapes and becomes a hunted fugitive, hoping to catch the real killer and prove his innocence.
Is that clear?
Not beautifully written, but you know what the movie is about — an innocent fugitive trying to track down the real killer of his wife.
This is the starting point — an absolutely clear version of your story. Once you have this, you can do the next two steps and you'll have a great query letter.
BTW, this movie is called THE FUGITIVE. It starred Harrison Ford and made $369 million at the box office.
CONCLUSION
At this point, you have safely avoided the two biggest problems. And you have a very clear pitch that is not a book report. If you stop here, you are in the top 10% of query letters.
But if you make sure you read the next part of this article, I'll give you the two solutions that will put your query letter in the top 1%.
I promise, it will make a huge difference in the response you get, whether you go after agents or producers.
And if you want to learn more about Marketing Your Screenplay – look here.