Recommended Screenwriters
When Voice-overs Work! Part 1
- June 13, 2011
- Posted by: HalCroasmun
- Category: Articles
I'm not a big fan of voice-overs. The majority of the ones I see in unproduced screenplays remind me of a Real Estate agent going from room to room saying "This is the kitchen… and this is the living room. And this is…" By the second sentence, I wish they would just shut the hell up.
But there are times when VO's work. There are times when they add so much to a movie…and those are the only time they should be used. A great VO takes you deeper into the story and the characters. It gives you the tone of the movie and improves the experience the audience has.
So here's my first two guidelines for Voice-Overs:
- Quality VO's don't describe what is on the screen. They enhance it. If all it tells you is what is on the screen, cut it.
- Quality VO's intrigue the listener as they reveal character. If the VO isn't intriguing by itself, cut it.
Consider the opening scene from CASINO.
EXT. RESTAURANT PARKING LOT, LAS VEGAS, 1983 – DAY
SAM 'ACE' ROTHSTEIN, a tall, lean, immaculately dressed man approaches his car, opens the door, and
gets inside to turn on the ignition.ACE (V.O.)
When you love someone, you've gotta trust them. There's no other way. You've got to give them the key to everything that's yours. Otherwise, what's the point? And, for a while… I believed that's the kind of love I had.
Suddenly, the car explodes. Flames, smoke and metal rise into the sky covering the view of the Las Vegas casinos and their signs
Ace's body comes flying in – extreme slow motion. His body twists and turns through the frame like a soul about to tumble into the flames of damnation.
NOTE: Ace is talking about love and trust as he gets in the car. His final line "I believed that's the kind of love I had" ends just as the car blows up. Those two together instantly cause intrigue.
Also, do you see him saying "I walked over to my car and got in. It was a warm day out and I never thought anything bad would happen to me when I turned the key?" That would be a bad VO!
Instead, the VO gives us our first hints of insight into who Ace is.
INT. TANGIERS CASINO FLOOR – NIGHT
Vignette of ACE through rippling flames, we move in on ACE ROTHSTEIN overseeing the casino. He lights a cigarette.
ACE (V.O.)
Before I ever ran a casino or got myself blown up, Ace Rothstein was a hell of a handicapper, I can tell you that. I was so good, that whenever I bet, I could change the odds for every bookmaker in the country. I'm serious. I had it down so cold that I was given paradise on earth. I was given one of the biggest casinos in Las Vegas to run, the Tangiers…
NOTE: Here, he talks about his job, but we don't see all of that. So the VO adds a level of depth.
INT. SAN MARINO ITALIAN GROCERY/BACK ROOM, KANSAS CITY – NIGHT
Vignette of MOB BOSSES sitting at a table surrounded by food and wine like the gods of Olympus.
ACE (V.O.)
…by the only kind of guys that can actually get you that kind of money: sixty-two million, seven-hundred thousand dollars. I don't know all the details.
NICKY (V.O.)
Matter of fact…
INT. BAR, LAS VEGAS – NIGHT
Vignette of NICKY SANTORO standing at a bar with DOMINICK SANTORO, his brother, and FRANK MARINO, his right-hand man.
NICKY (V.O.)
…nobody knew all the details, but it should'a been perfect. I mean, he had me, Nicky Santoro, his best friend, watching his ass…
NOTE: Notice those last three VO's. Ace tells us about 62 million dollars, but we don't see it. Nicky tells us that he is watching Ace's ass, but again, we don't see it.
Later in the VO, they do describe money going into a suitcase, but they also provide more depth and intrigue by the way they do it.
If you are writing a VO, ask yourself this question "Does it add depth, intrigue, and take us beyond the visual?" If it doesn't, chances are that you are just using it to provide exposition without adding quality to the VO. But if it truly improves the experience of the reader and viewer, than this may be the technique of choice.
And you'll see more… in Part 2 of this article.