Recommended Screenwriters
Fresh Writing: The Unexpected Response
- October 6, 2010
- Posted by: HalCroasmun
- Category: Articles
When an audience thinks they know where you are going, it is an opportune moment to surprise them with something unexpected.
One of the formats for fresh writing is “The Unexpected Response.”
This is one of my favorite techniques when used correctly. The setup sends our minds in one direction and then we get surprised by a response that we would have never thought of…but it still fits who that character is.
Today, we’ll go over one of three methods to create an Unexpected Response.
As you read the example and my explanation, you need to keep an eye on two things — the setup and the unexpected response.
GO OPPOSITE
This is actually an easy technique. You look at what would be the normal response and go opposite of it. At the conclusion of this article, I’ll discuss what you need to watch out for when you go opposite, but for now, take a look at this example…
…and remember, we’re simply looking to bring a fresh experience to the writing with one of twenty “Fresh” techniques. So this isn’t the only way a person can add freshness to their writing.
Here’s an example:
>From SHREK — Page 21
Shrek has come home with Donkey (after meeting him for the first time) and wakes up the next morning to discover that all of the Fairy-tale creatures in the land have moved into his swamp.
Watch the setup and then the unexpected response.
EXT. SWAMP — DAY
PINOCCHIO
We were forced to come here.
SHREK
By who?
One of the THREE LITTLE PIGS speaks up.
PIG
(German accent)
Lord Farquaad! He huffed, und he puffed, und
he — signed an eviction notice.His brothers nod their agreement.
SHREK
Alright. Who knows where this…Farquaad guy is?
The creatures look dumbfounded. All except Donkey.
DONKEY
(hopping up and down)
Oh, I do! I know where he is!
SHREK
Does anyone else know where to find him?
Anyone at all. Anyone?Characters point in different directions.
Donkey continues to leap up into Shrek’s P.O.V.
DONKEY
Me! Me! Oh! Pick me! Oh I know, I know.
Me, me.SHREK
(sighs)
Okay, fine.
(yells)
Attention all…fairytale things!
The creatures fall into an uneasy silence.
SHREK
Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is
officially worn out. In fact, I’m gonna see
this guy Farquaad right now, and get you
all off my land and back where you came from!A beat.
CROWD
Yaaaayyyyyyy!
Like Munchkins surrounding Dorothy, the fairy-tale characters cheer and celebrate Shrek as their hero. Birds drape the annoyed ogre in garlands. Shrek rolls his eyes.
SETUP: Shrek says things like “Your welcome is officially worn out. I’m going to…get you off my land…” He’s throwing them out.
UNEXPECTED RESPONSE: But because he is also getting them their most important outcome, they cheer him as a hero.
There are two things you need to watch out for:
1. Going with an ineffective “opposite.”
2. Not setting up the surprise properly.
The simple structure below solves both of these.
STRUCTURE:
A. After writing a first draft of a scene, brainstorm possible “opposite” responses a character could have.
Often, this will generate great ideas that may seem impossible to fit into the story. Imagine the writers saying “I want Shrek to say something terrible and the response is that the Fairy-tale people cheer him.” Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?
Don’t count out any “opposite” response until you have taken the next step.
B. With each response you like, brainstorm a setup that could make could make it work for the characters and the scene.
This might require that you put in some padding. Notice that Shrek also said…
SHREK
I’m gonna see this guy Farquaad right now, and get you all off my land and back where you came from!
The writers set it up to give the Fairy-tale creatures a reason to cheer that makes total sense. Shrek just said he was going to solve their biggest problem and he is big enough to do it.
Ultimately, your job as a writer is to gather a whole set of techniques that will have your writing stand out. Adding “Fresh” techniques to your toolbox can provide a lot of extra entertainment and will also cause producers to see you as an amazing writer they need to hold onto.
If you’re looking to pick up a good toolkit for making your writing “Fresh”, take a look at our Fresh & Edgy Screenwriting Class. It goes well beyond this in showing what’s “Fresh”, what’s “Edgy”, and how to add that to your writing.