Recommended Screenwriters
Making Every Scene Special
- June 13, 2011
- Posted by: HalCroasmun
- Category: Articles
One of the big differences between an amateur and a pro is the quality of their scenes.
Much is said about the basic rules of a scene, but I haven't seen anyone cover this one thing:
How do you elevate the interest level of every scene?
This isn't about having more explosions or fights or sex scenes. It is about looking into the essence of the scene and then delivering that in the most interesting way you can.
See the formula:
- Find the essence of the scene.
- Deliver it in the most interesting way you can.
Both take creativity and insight. Insight comes in as you discover the real essence of the scene. It also comes in as you make decisions about which ideas to use when you rewrite the scene. You want to be appropriate to what your story is about and the tone you're using to tell it.
But for now, let's just look at an example to see how this works.
ONE CAUTION: No matter what scene I use for an example, I get one or two people who email saying they didn't like the movie or the scene was insufficient in some way.
When you read this scene, don't worry about whether you like the movie or the scene. All that matters here is what you learn from reading this. So focus on learning as much as you can.
Here's the scene from NOTTING HILL where William, the average bloke, has been invited up to the room of Anna, the most famous star in the world. These two are in the beginning of a relationship and William is completely smitten with Anna.
Up front, let me tell you; in this scene, William is surprised when he discovers that Anna's boyfriend has arrived from America.
ESSENCE: The humiliation of discovering that she has a boyfriend…when you think you're the only one.
BTW, I could of simply said "Discovering she has a boyfriend," but that doesn't get to the true essence of this scene. The essence, in this case, is the humiliation.
INT. RITZ CORRIDOR/ANNA'S SUITE – NIGHT
William coming along the hotel corridor. He knocks on the door.
ANNA
Hiya.
There's something slightly awry. He doesn't notice.
WILLIAM
Hi.
He kisses her gently on the cheek.
WILLIAM
To be able to do that is such a wonderful thing.
ANNA
(pause) You've got to go.
WILLIAM
Why?
ANNA
Because my boyfriend, who I thought was in America, is in fact in the next room.
WILLIAM
Your boyfriend?
He is duly shocked. She's trying to be calm.
NOTE: First, notice the contrast. William is basking in the moment of kissing her for his first time. And that is when we find out that she has a boyfriend…and he's in the hotel room.
This is part of setting up the humiliation to come.
ANNA
Yes…
JEFF (V.O.)
Who is it?
Jeff drifts into view behind. He is a very famous film star and looks the part — well built, very handsome.
Unshaven, he has magic charm, whatever he says. Over a t-shirt, he wears a shirt, which he unbuttons as he talks.
WILLIAM
Ahm… room service.
JEFF
How you doing? I thought you guys all wore those penguin coats.
WILLIAM
Well, yes — usually — I'd just changed to go home — but I thought I'd just deal with this final call.
JEFF
Oh great. Could you do me a favour and try to get us some really cold water up here?
WILLIAM
I'll see what I can do.
JEFF
Still, not sparkling.
WILLIAM
Absolutely. Ice cold still water.
JEFF
Unless it's illegal in the UK to serve liquids below room temperature: I don't want you going to jail just to satisfy my whims…
WILLIAM
No, I'm sure it'll be fine.
JEFF
And maybe you could just adios the dishes and empty the trash.
WILLIAM
Right.
And he does just that. Scoops up the two used plates and heads to the bin.
NOTE: Now, the humiliation sets in. But this is a special kind of humiliation — one that comes from William's willingness to sacrifice himself.
In less than 30 seconds, William has gone from being on top of the world to finding out that his new girlfriend has a boyfriend to being treated like a servant.
And part of the beauty of this scene is that the writer is not making Jeff the bad guy. Jeff doesn't know that William is not who he claims. So he is acting totally normal for who he is. That keeps us from getting sidetracked and focusing on a conflict between Jeff and William.
So the writer has kept this purely about the humiliation. And it is not just William who is feeling it. Anna feels it, too.
ANNA
Really — don't do that — I'm sure this is not his job.
JEFF
I'm sorry. Is this a problem?
WILLIAM
Ah — no. It's fine.
JEFF
What's your name?
WILLIAM
Ahm… Bernie.
Jeff slips him a fiver.
JEFF
Thank you, Bernie. (to Anna) Hey — nice surprise, or nasty surprise?
ANNA
Nice surprise.
He kisses her.
JEFF
Liar.
(to William) She hates surprises. What are you ordering?ANNA
I haven't decided.
JEFF
Well, don't over-do it. I don't want people saying, 'There goes that famous actor with the big, fat girlfriend."
NOTE: Two more levels of humiliation. William has had to lie about who he is and now, both of them are listening to Jeff insult Anna — the woman William loves.
So William is helpless to defend himself and he is helpless to defend Anna — all because of the situation the writer designed.
He wanders off taking off his t-shirt.
WILLIAM
I better leave.
Anna just nods.
WILLIAM
— this is a fairly strange reality to be faced with. To be honest, I don't realize…
ANNA
I'm so sorry… I don't know what to say.
WILLIAM
I think goodbye is traditional.
INT. RITZ CORRIDOR – NIGHT
William walks away.
NOTE: And now, it is over…without any resolution. All that is left is the humiliation and pain that made this scene so much more interesting than the standard take.
As I've said before, we no longer have the luxury of a dull page.
You can't have a single scene that doesn't entertain in some way.
This process works well during a rewrite. Just put every scene to the test. Does it get to the essence and does it deliver that in the most interesting way possible?
If you want readers to rave about your writing, this is one process you'll want to add to your toolbox. If every scene in your script is the most interesting it can be, you'll keep the reader captivated and they won't stop reading until the last word.
To learn more on grabbing your audience and never letting go, check out our Pushing the Envelope Screenwriting Class.