Recommended Screenwriters
Writing Dialogue Banter That Works
- May 21, 2010
- Posted by: HalCroasmun
- Category: Articles
Probably the most tempting thing to do in a script is create a scene where two characters banter back and forth. It just seems so easy. You set up some kind of conflict and let them talk.
But does that entertain readers and audiences?
Most of the time, "talking heads" scenes don't deliver anything close to a scene with meaningful action. But there are some exceptions. For this article, we'll focus on a great scene from GROSSE POINTE BLANK and what makes it so entertaining…for a talking heads scene.
Once you have this, all of your talking heads scenes will be more fun and engaging.
In GROSSE POINTE BLANK, Martin Blank (John Cusak) is a "hit man" who has major concerns about returning to his high school reunion and seeing the woman he left on Prom Night 10 years earlier.
In this scene, he is at Dr. Oatman's office in a therapy session with Oatman (Alan Arkin) and it is a 100% talking heads scene, but it delivers some great drama and comedy.
The script was written by Tom Jankiewicz, D.V. DeVincentis & S.K. Boatman & Steve Pink & John Cusack.
As you read this scene, notice three things:
1. How the dramatic situation gives the dialogue more entertainment value.
2. How both characters are acting out of their own needs and desires.
3. How the banter keeps the scene interesting and funny.
>From the first Act:
INT. DR. OATMAN'S OFFICE – DAY
Martin slouches on a leather couch.
MARTIN
I got invited to my ten-year
high school reunion. I'm
conflicted, I mean I don't
know if I want to go. It's
in Detroit. Honestly, what do
I have in common with those
people? Or with anyone,
really. They all have husbands
and wives and dogs. They can
talk about what they do and
what am I going to say? I
killed the President of
Paraguay with a fork, how
have you been?
He looks O.S., expecting an answer.
MARTIN
It will be depressing…It
will be depressing.
Shouldn't you be taking
notes or something?
NOTE: Here's the first hook. Martin has just told us his sad story that ended with a punchline (…killed the President of Paraguay with a fork, how have you been?) and someone is supposed to be taking notes. Why would they be taking notes?
DR. OATMAN rubs his forehead, trying to cope.
In his fifties, his office smacks of success,
but he looks stressed out.
DR. OATMAN
I'm not taking notes, Martin,
because I'm not your doctor.
MARTIN
Please, don't start with that
stuff again.
NOTE: We got our answer to the hook, but this has just created more story questions — If he isn't Martin's doctor, why would Martin be there telling the sad story? Another hook.
DR. OATMAN
Martin, I'm emotionally involved
with you.
MARTIN
How are you emotionally involved
with me?
DR. OATMAN
I'm afraid of you and that
constitutes an emotional
involvement and it would
unethical for me to work with
you under those circumstances.
Martin is on the edge of his chair, holding
back anger.
MARTIN
Don't you think you got upset
because I told you what I do
for a living and you got upset
and you're letting it interfere
with our dynamic?
NOTE: Understatement: How could someone let a little thing like murder interfere with the therapeutic dynamic? But also, notice how Martin is having to deal with the issues of his therapist. And it doesn't stop there.
There is something more important going on here. Look at that setup. Our hit man is forcing a therapist to listen to his problems. But not with a gun. He has a psychological hold on his therapist. So the scene is done with irony.
This unique twist gives us a dramatic situation and relationship that is interesting from a dramatic and comedic perspective.
This simple twist is a structural tool that gives the dialogue a deeper meaning. Sometimes, the solution to a dialogue problem is to change the structure of the scene. In an early draft of this script, they has a normal therapy session where Martin discussed his problems and the therapist replied in a very standard fashion. Their change improved the quality of the scene by ten times or more.
DR. OATMAN
Whoa. You didn't tell me what
you did for four sessions and
I said I don't want to work
with you. Yet, you come back
every week at the same time.
That's a difficulty for me.
On top of that, if you're
committing a crime or thinking
about committing a crime, I
have to tell the authorities.
MARTIN
I know the law, but I don't
want to be withholding. I'm
very serious about this
process…and I know where
you live.
NOTE: Martin doesn't want to be withholding. It is the opposite — a reversal of the norm — of what you would assume of a hit man. And the subtext line "and I know where you live" tells us why Dr. Oatman has to continue taking these sessions.
Visibly shaken, Oatman stands and starts
pacing.
DR. OATMAN
That wasn't a nice thing to say.
That wasn't designed to make me
feel good. That's a kind of
not-so-subtle intimidation and
I get filled with anxiety when
you talk about something
like that.
NOTE: Now, the therapist is discussing his own emotions. Again, the opposite of the normal therapy situation, but it makes total sense with this situation.
MARTIN
Come on, I was just kidding.
The thought never even crossed
my mind.
DR. OATMAN
You did think of it, Martin.
You thought of it and you said
it. Now, I'm left with the
aftermath of that, thinking I
got to be creative in a really
interesting way or Martin is
going to blow my brains out.
You're holding me hostage here.
That's not right.
MARTIN
I just want to work.
NOTE: Finally, check out the relationship between these two. A patient who is truly committed to his therapy is holding the therapist hostage…psychologically. Meanwhile the therapist is "withholding" treatment and babbling about his own performance anxiety. Some very interesting irony.
These two are great together!
The scene concludes with Dr. Oatman recommending that Martin go to his high school reunion, but tells him not to kill anybody, which is the primary reason that Martin is going back to Grosse Pointe.
—————
WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED?
Dialogue isn't just about the words. For banter to work, you need to combine different levels of storytelling. Look at the list of skills that made this scene work — besides the words:
- Two characters operating out of their own needs.
- A setup that is paid off with a twist.
- A dramatic situation that intrigues us.
- A unique relationship that is revealed through conflict.
- Hooks, story questions, subtext, and irony.
All of these are under the surface of the dialogue. They are what make this scene so interesting.
If you'd like to be able to write like this, we cover how to use these skills and more in our "Advanced Dialogue Screenwriting Class". In 10 days, the dialogue in your screenplay will take on a new meaning.
Next time you need to solve a dialogue problem, look beneath the surface. Your solution could come from a stronger plot, structure, conflict, character, or any number of other places that already exist in your screenplay.
Sometimes, it is just about discovering new layers of what is already there.